the mind always
wants more than it has –
one more bright day of sun,
one more clear night in bed
with the moon; one more hour
to get the words right; one
more chance for the heart in hiding
to emerge from its thicket
in dried grasses – as if this quiet day
with its tentative light weren’t enough,
as if joy weren’t strewn all around.
– Holly Hughes
When I first came across this poem by Holly Hughes several months ago, something about it got my attention. And now, several months later, it still doesn’t let go. Living a fast-paced life, I can so relate to her words, longing for just a little more, as if what I have is almost enough, yet not quite.
One of the gifts of the last few months has been the realization that, in truth, I have always had what I needed in every moment. There is great beauty in that recognition. While I may long for just one more hour of sleep, one more day at home before the next trip, a chance for a nap by the fire with my dogs, or just one more leisurely breakfast in the sunroom before I fly away again, or… What I have is always enough. And indeed joy is strewn all around in my life. I am so blessed, even when I forget that I am.
Holly Hughes says that it is the mind that always wants more. I’m starting to recognize more clearly the distinction between my mind wanting more and my heart wanting more. My mind speaks up more frequently than my heart. My mind wants something just because it wants it. Yet when my heart asks for more, it is different. My heart rarely asks for more, because it, in fact, is much more aware of the joy strewn all around than my mind is. So when my heart asks for more, I’ve learned to pay attention. When my heart asks for more, it is not more of some thing, but rather more of just being.
On the physical side, there is always enough, and after a lifetime of being self-employed, I’ve learned to trust that. The universe provides. Yet on the spiritual and pure being side, I’ve learned that it is up to me to make sure that I am providing the time for solitude, stillness, introspection, and reflection time that feeds my heart and soul.
We all need different things in different proportions. Some people need lots of external stimulation and thrive on engagement with people, places, and activities. However, while I certainly need to have time with people that I love dearly, I also need significant time alone, silence, nature, beauty, trees, and time to co-create with the nearly constant stream of inspiration and insights that come cascading through. Some people might call that “down” time—time when they get to just relax and be fed. For me, it is “full” time, “creative” time, “discovery” time. It’s time to be in full-on dialogue with Consciousness. It’s time that feeds my soul like nothing else. And it is up to me to make sure that I build that time into my schedule. Otherwise, my heart and soul don’t have the food and nourishment they need to be my best and to do the work that is mine to do.
When there is enough, I know that my life is aligned – that I am living in a beautiful sense of oneness with all that is, and that I am living into my potential. The “enough” is a wonderful confirmation. When there is not enough, I have learned that I must look to find the place where I am not in alignment – where my sense of connection to a greater whole is not as strong as it needs to be. When that alignment is in place, my heart never asks for more.
Thanks, Holly Hughes, for the reminder that there is indeed joy strewn all around and that part of my job is to notice.
P.S. If you would like to explore living in alignment more fully, a helpful resource might be my first book, Intuitive Living. It is available in bookstores everywhere, on amazon.com, as a digital book for Kindle, iBooks, or other e-readers, or through our website store.
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